Why is it different now?

Two people that I met on-line a little over a year ago announced yesterday the truth behind their relationship.
One is married.
One is single.
I like them both very much and initially I was thrilled about their 'coming out' as a couple.

I've had time to sleep on it and I don't feel thrill any longer.
There's a sadness to all of it - namely the fact that one is married and is still living with that partner.
The sadness is because that unknowing partner could just as easily be me. I seriously do not believe that to be true now -- but just the same, I would hate to find out that the Mr. was giving all the 'good stuff' to someone else rather than me.

Yes, I had an on-line net sweetie.
Yes, it lasted for 4 years.
Yes, I felt that I was giving the net sweetie all the good stuff.
Yes, I met him in real life.
Yes, I felt like I was cheating.

No, the Mr. did not know how I felt about the net sweetie.
No, I never slept with him -- like that really make a difference

Yes, I would be sickened if I found out the Mr. was having an on-line affair.

I don't want it to end!

My cousin arrives "state side" this week. She'll be celebrating her 50th birthday with the whole famdamily.
She's bringing her brat granddaughter, her grandson, and her son.
I would love to spend some time with her but I can do without the rest of the clan. Hence we won't be making 13 hour drive this time.

I was so thrilled that the takeover company picked me up. I was told to select my own docs - I chose a total of 10. I have since then discovered that it's really not enough to keep me busy, so after chatting with the former client and receiving a couple more names, I submitted a request for one specifically. The new company responded stating that he had already been assigned. So I asked for a couple others - absolutely no response.

The no response thing has me on pins and needles. I keep thinking the whole damn works is going to be pulled out from under me. I E-mailed a friend and mentioned the lack of communication with this new company.
Be damned if she didn't basically confirm my concerns ... errr fears.
Shit! Just when I'm getting started and really enjoying it.
I hope I don't get the rug pulled out from under me on this.