I told you so ...

I hate hearing that phrase, and I seldom use it. It's just so damn condescending and belitting. As if the recipient of the comment doesn't feel bad enough -- an "I told you so" simply grinds it in deeper.

With that said, I did a hurtful thing yesterday. I didn't mean to be hurtful. I wanted the point driven home so that it would never happen again.
Of course that's the whole reason for the "I told you so" statement to start with, isn't it?

My mother had been in a care center/nursing home. She had become very unstable on her feet and had fallen 7 times in 5 days. I was thrilled when Dad said he had to put her in the care center. He said she's not happy about it and wants to know when she can come home. I told him then that it's always been his job to keep her safe over the years - and he has always managed to do that. Putting her in the care center was just another way of keeping her safe - the home simply is not safe for her anymore. Several of us added that there's a very good possibility that the next time she falls, she'll break something - then she may be bedridden - and that would be even worse. He seemed okay with that.

As the months went by, he began to hate being in the house alone. So, against all of our wishes, he once again brought her home to live.

Sunday she fell twice.
Sunday night she was back in the care center - in a lot of pain.

I called Dad Monday morning. He was sad, he was kicking himself. And as mad as I was at the moment I said the hurtful words of "I told you so".

Being the fucking nasty person I can be -- I made him cry.

Sometimes I hate myself!