The power of family ...

... to make one fine conversation turn to a pile of shit with one guilt inducing sentence.

Ah yes the family -- the one group of people that know every goddamn thing about you. All your successes and mostly, all your failures.

I had the opportunity to talk to a woman yesterday - one that I have known all my life.
Or should I say she's known me all my life? This woman is an aunt.

She used to be my best friend. We had some good times when I moved back from Wisconsin in the late '70's and into the 80's. Regardless of what is going on with us now, I'm sure she would agree ... it's a good thing bars, cars and motels can't talk. Yes, she and I have shared some secrets.

When I made a visit back to see the folks in the fall of 2005, she had mentioned she wanted my dad to get mom some new shoes. Not just shoes -- but pricey shoes - she never explained why.

hmmmm, how odd, I thought, that she is so insistent that she have such pricey shoes.

It seems really strange that a woman like my mother, who could care less what she looks like anymore, would need that kind of shoe. It's not so much that she doesn't care about her appearance anymore but it's the fact that she seldom gets out of the wheel chair anymore.

Well, a couple weeks later, the aunt and I talked again and she started laughing and said something to the effect of:
"I don't know what I was thinking! Yes, why would she need such pricey shoes when she seldom gets out of the wheel chair?" and she laughed.
End of subject.

Not so.
My mother has diabetes. They recently found a sore on the bottom of her foot. She didn't realize she had a sore, because she doesn't have much feeling in her feet any more.

Once again, I was talking with this aunt that used to be my best friend, that is now just my aunt again - and she managed to put this little zinger in the conversation:
"I told you and your dad a year ago that she needed better shoes - now she has this sore on her foot that isn't healing."

Well, dear auntie - since you're the one closest to her, and if you're so sure her shoes caused this sore or even could cause a sore, then why didn't you put it like that -- or better yet, why didn't you just get the fucking shoes when you first mentioned it 5 months ago?
(yes, dear auntie, it was 5 months ago -- not a year ago)

Family ... if ya can't blog about 'em, who can ya really talk to?

Ramblings of the day

I'm quite sure now that coffee and salted fresh grapefruit are not such a good mix of flavors.
YUCK!

The Mr. and I had a li'l blowup over the holidays after the company left. I told him that he talks nicer to strangers than he does to me and I'm sick of it. It finally came down to:
if he doesn't want to be decent to me, perhaps he'd rather spend his retirement alone.

There's one thing my Mr. hates - and it's being alone.

He apologized.
I apologized.
and once again the up swing of the cycle begins.
Life is good.

We had a fabulous greeting to the new year. We had company in from outta town. Company that we so wished lived here - but she won't leave her adult daughter - so I doubt that they will ever move here. We'll just enjoy the times that they do come to stay.

My mother turned 80 this week. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever see her again. My dad is very sad these days. He too, hates being alone. He's been mentioning the past quite often, and speaks of many of his friends that have long since died.

Regarding this growing old thing - I'm starting to think more that the Marilyn's, JFK's, princesses, etc. were the lucky ones. They are frozen in time. A time that they were in their prime of life. They didn't have to ponder or stress what is going to happen to them when they get old.
Damn! that is morbid -- but it is, what it is.

And I think about my mentor. I have to debate whether to make the trip out there this summer. I think she's actually quite moody - and for some reason I get a -- I can't say red flag -- but a yellow caution flag when I think about booking the flight. I would hate it if she and I had a falling out. She's been very good to me. How will I ever repay her?

And now my 63 year old friend BillyBoy is sniffing around some 20 year old. How sick is that? He's so broken that he looks 75 and yet he's trying to make it with a 20 year old.
And how stupid of her.
If only we could educate her about what BillyBoy really is - and what he is really attempting to do with her. He's putting on the facade of playing the 'daddy' figure -- well, even his own 4 kids will have absolutely NOTHING to do with him -- there's a reason for that -- one that I'm sure he'll take to his grave. But this 20 year old needs to be told that he is not the victim that he portrays to be.
He IS the cause.

This thing/fling will end badly.
I guess we have to have experiences though to educate ourselves.
Good luck to the 20 year old - I can only hope she has the sense to learn from it.

And life goes on.