When the respect was lost

I have smoked most of my adult life. I started around 13.
I did stop for a year from Feb. 2004 to around March 2005.
Then I started having a cigar now and then - the mini cigars.
Then I started inhaling the cigars.
Now I LOVE the damn things.
But ohhhhh the Mr. ... well he hates me smoking -- anything!

A realization set in the other day.

The Mr. used to always open the car door for me.
I liked being treated like that - and he knew I liked it.
The other day I was thinking about this car-door-opening gesture.
I don't believe the Mr. has opened my car door in months.

And then it hit me ...
I think he stopped opening the car door for me, when I started smoking full time again.

Point taken, Mr.

What is the grandparenting thing

I have a step-granddaughter. She's a gem - as are everyone's granddaughters.
It's quite difficult being a grandma since I've never been a mom.
She'll be a teenager in less than 2 years.
That's going to suck.
Teenage girls - they are the worst.

That's the reason I never had kids because I knew sooner or later, I would end up with a teenage daughter and she'd probably be just like me - terror with a twat.
Aren't they just the things that nightmares are made of?
I can only hope that she'll go to and FINISH college.
And hope like hell that she doesn't get pregnant before she's 26.

Isn't that the way though? We always want so much for others - especially the young. And so many times we're disappointed. I know I disappointed my parents ... alot.
But, we've all survived it, just like I'll survive being the grandmother of a teenage granddaughter.

I remember the last time

I remember the last time I had sexual intercourse. It's been a long LONG time ago. It was some of the best sex the Mr. and I had had in quite some time. We were vacationing in Oklahoma -- of all places. However, we both agree, that was one of the best vacations we ever took.

We spent the day fishing, local site seeing, and visiting the neighbors. The neighbors had llamas and shetland ponies. They had a stud shetland that had the attitude that deserved the title of stud. The stud watched a filly go by and she did a pussy wink as she pranced past the stud. That stud got all worked up and dropped his dong. She kept on prancing by. He wanted her. The fence kept them apart - he'd never have her.

We got home that night after a full day of just living. It felt good. I felt good. The Mr. felt good. We were happy. We went to bed that night. He was horny. I was horny. He touched me and I thought I was going cum right then - but I waited, and savored. It was slamming sex, rugged sex, raw sex. While in the heat of it, I whispered, "are you thinking about that shetland stud?" He answered yes.

I knew he was - because I was too.

Clean up your act!

Why is it when so many people get old they neglect the cleanliness of their surroundings?
Why is it when so many people get old they are indifferent to theirown personal hygiene?

Do they think no one notices? Do they wonder why no one stops over? Do they wonder why we don't want to stay at their house anymore? Do they wonder why we won't eat or drink anything at their house? Do they wonder why they don't receive any warm hugs anymore?

It disgusts me.

And the reason why?

... Because it's my own parents.

Exercising ... in public

The Mr. recently got himself involved in a gym - a semi-public one.
Now that's all well and good ... for him.

Several times last night he says to me: "You should go with me tomorrow - you know - to the gym"

Why is it that when he finds something he enjoys he automatically assumes that I'll enjoy it too?

I need to pause here and cut him some slack - because at least he thinks of me.

Fact is I flunked phys. ed. in high school for crissakes!
I hate exercising and only do it because I love to eat.
However, this is conductd in the privacy of my own home - or walking in my own neighborhood.

Now I have to get garbed up
to go out in the cold
to go to a sweat smelling gym
to do exercising in public
... on equipment that is used by everyone else. YUCK!

But hey! we'll be doing it together


Later ...
So now I'm thinking more and more about this gym thing.
I think they have trainers at those places.
I wonder if I could put my order in for one of those tall (6 ft or more), dark haired, tanned skin, hard bodied, males.
I don't want him to have those bulging muscles (that makes me nauseous), but a nice firm bum, and large hands, and he must have the attitude and the look that the he could fuck ya all night long.

Yes, this exercising thing - it's all about incentive.

I may just warm up to this gym thing afterall.

And this is where it begins ...

Oddly enough, this is where it begins and as of right now I have nothing to say.